To put it plainly, being truly loved by God to me means being loved unconditionally. The need to be loved unconditionally by God is an unquestionable truth. Learning about this need has come at a price. It’s beckoned me to take off my many masks and self-protective wear. It’s been a risky process of peeling away layers and finding ultimate truth, not the one they preach about from the pulpit, but the truth that I hear God speaking directly to me. To be truly loved by God is self-discovery.
At my lowest, when I have been completely helpless, I have understood why I need to be loved unconditionally by God. I’m not expecting this kind of love from any human.
Being truly loved means being accepted wholly. It means that I don’t have to present a polished or inauthentic version of myself when I come before God. It also means that I can courageously look at my pain, my dysfunction and my imperfections with the honesty and integrity they deserve; in order to see the parts of me that God accepts even when I struggle to accept myself. This is where God’s grace comes in. God’s grace tells me, the pressure’s off. It invites me to come as I am. It invites me to rest, to stop tirelessly trying to fix myself and others, diagnosing every regrettable word and action. To be truly loved by God is authenticity.
To be truly loved means that there is a prescribed allowance for my imperfection, my past and present are forgiven, my future is filled with hope to do and be better. I am not being graded based on my ability or failure to do right. I am covered. I am known. In this love, I am transformed into someone new, someone quite unlike my usual self. To be truly loved by God is embarking on a journey back to Eden.
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